Alli's Place

Where Alli shares her thoughts and feelings…

And the Back Saga Continues

Today I had my neuro appointment with someone called Lucy. To be honest looking at the MRI it doesn’t look like much to me, as I am comparing it to the schwannoma, so I feel a rather pathetic that it is causing me more trouble than that ever did! Back to the point though, the outcome of that is that she is going to take it to their meeting next Thursday to discuss it as she said it is borderline whether surgery is the best plan or not. So it will be surgery or epidural and I have said that I will do whatever they decide then. She said that when they decide she will put me straight on the appropriate waiting list and write and tell me what they have gone for. Right now I don’t really care as long as something happens and I can get out of the doing nothing limbo I feel like I am stuck in.

As for how I am now, nothing has changed, still getting pain in my back and down my leg. Still tingling down both legs and still getting horrible pain in my foot and toe. No new symptoms though which is good. I still haven’t managed a full day at work in the office, if I stay later than 2pm it means a rather painful drive home and rough night. My attempt to stay till 4pm last Friday resulted in hardly any sleep and wrote off my weekend and I have just about got things back under control now. I am starting to worry about how long my manager will put up with me disappearing to work from home every afternoon. I feel worse now than I did before the Schwannoma was removed, at least then I managed to do full days in the office right up till the day before I went off for the operation.

To be honest I am now thoroughly fed up. I want to do a full day in the office (sad I know but I like my job). I want to be able to do a Tesco shop. I want to not have to worry about how close to somewhere I can park because walking makes things worse. I want to be able to drive down to Portsmouth and see my friends. I don’t want to be worried about it going again. I want to not wake up when the painkillers wear off at about 3am. I want to get back to swimming, doing nice long walks and take my Guides camping. ☹.

Sorry I needed to have a moan and get it off my chest.

On the bright side at least one way or another something will happen and that will feel like a step in the right directionm!

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It is frustrating waiting

Well I wondered if I would get a reply from my physio (the guy I don’t like much) and it came today. Funny how “struggling slightly” has become “struggling quite badly” and he also mentions “obviously there is a justifiable reason for your ongoing pain”…

At least I feel like he believes me now. Hope he doesn’t snoop on the web and find this blog… If he does, I’m sorry but I have felt like this guy thinks I was wasting his time since I saw him in September and it has messed with my head. Part of me wishes I could tell him… oh well…

Now all I can do is wait for a date as I have been told not to do anything, especially anything that makes it worse. It is very frustrating!

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